Vicki Anderson

Many people who are trying to make lifestyle changes get coaches. There are coaches for weight loss, smoking cessation, alcohol and drug addiction, and all kinds of skill training. It is a proven fact that if you have someone to support you with positive reinforcement or to help you stay motivated, you are more likely to make the changes long lasting.

This concept is also true for leadership skills. Many people have started using coaches to help them discuss their approaches to leading and help them learn through their immediate situations. However, I don’t think there is enough emphasis on support for changing behavior.

I was talking to a client the other day and suggested that she state in front of her staff that she is trying to be a better manager. She should say that she realizes that the way she has behaved in the past has been sometimes inappropriate and she plans to change that. She should ask for their help and support while she learns to be a better manager. People could gently let her know if she was falling off the wagon or they could give her kudos when she seems to be doing it right.

The benefit of doing this is not only support for the manager, but it makes the staff look at the manager differently and perhaps judge with different criteria. Many times people try to change, but others still view them with the same eyes, so they never get the benefit of others seeing the change. Trust is built on the behaviors we see, not the behaviors we say we will do. Therefore, if you want someone to believe you are trying to be better, you have to do things they will see. However, if they aren’t looking for it, they still might not see it.

What do you think? Does this make a person seem strong or weak to do this? To me, it is no different from the alcoholic who stands up and and says “I’m an alcoholic and I need your help.” It is owning the problem and showing that you are earnest about fixing it.

I am energized by working with people who have such good intentions in their leadership. It is so hard to be a leader today. The workforce is so much more diverse than at any other time and the demands on your time are more than ever before. Most management today is functional. The days of a manager with a clean desk waiting for people to come talk to him or her, or just wandering around looking over people’s shoulders are gone. Most managers I know are hard working and want to do the right thing by their people, just as they want their managers to do the right thing by them. Unfortunately, the front line and middle managers get caught in the squeeze of carrying out orders from the top to deliver results while trying to keep workers motivated to do it.

Often times it’s the little things managers can do to keep the machine rolling. Simple appreciation for work done by others and taking time to appreciate their own contribution can be hard to come by, but it is worth it in the long run. Encourage appreciation by peers to build teamwork as a stress reliever for all. And remember that a laugh a day can do wonders. Someone said after class today that they had gotten a few chuckles and they kind of needed it today. That felt like a standing ovation for me because it said what we did today was worthwhile.