Vicki Anderson

It’s no wonder that communications is still the number one issue in business environments today. (This is my unofficial survey result based on experience with my clients and friends.) If you ask anyone, they will say there is a problem with communication in their workplace, home, church, school, etc.

Just take a look around and you will see that it has less to do with language and more to do with how you happen to perceive the situation at hand. While you may not perceive the situation to be worthy of much communication, there is always someone else who needs way more than you are giving. And vice versa. You may need more than someone is giving you. Plus, it is not just the amount of communication, but what you need or want to know.

It depends on how you are involved and what stake you have in the situation. It is easy to look at the needs of the situation from your standpoint, but if you really want to be known as a good communicator, take time to evaluate other vantage points. Listen to others and involve them in decisions where possible. It is amazing how smart you will be perceived to be when you have become a good listener to other perceptions than your own. And how much less stress you will experience from communication aftershocks!

Using consistent consequences takes a lot of effort on the part of a supervisor, but it pays big dividends in fewer disciplinary issues. People know their responsibility and what will happen if they decide not to live up to it. It is always advisable to set the stage correctly upfront by clearly communicating your expectations for their performance. Remember that not everyone has the same standards as you or the same priorities in the way they look at their work. If you want them to be on the same page as you, you have to tell them what your standards and priorities are. Here’s a sample approach to a common problem—employees leaving the breakroom a mess.

Have an employee meeting and ask for their help in keeping the breakroom clean. Impress to them that you are happy to provide this common space for their use, especially if you use it too. Since it is for the use of all, it is the responsibility of everyone to be good neighbors and help keep it clean. You expect people to throw away their trash and wipe up any messes they make. You will provide general cleaning service to help maintain the overall cleanliness. Let them know that if they choose not to be a good neighbor by leaving their food and trash lying around creating unsanitary conditions for others, you will remind them of their responsibility once. If you have to talk with them about it a second time, you will assume they have chosen not to live up to their responsibility for using the breakroom and are barred from using it again. Don’t make everyone suffer for the poor choices of a few. Ask people to help each other by politely encouraging each other to keep their area clean.

You may tell anyone who has been barred that they can be reinstated if they come to you and tell you what they will do to earn your trust again and use the facility appropriately. In other words, say that they are willing to take responsibility for their actions and understand the consequences.

Let’s be perfectly clear that threats are not appropriate when talking about consequences. I believe in giving people choices up front. When you tell people clearly what you expect from their performance, express your confidence in their ability to succeed and your willingness to provide resources to help them. Where it is appropriate, let them know what could happen if they don’t succeed. Consequences should start with follow up conversations to determine root causes for failures or lapses in judgment.

Supervisors play a key role in helping people make good choices in their behaviors, so use consequences wisely and consistently for consistent performance results.

I’m so tired of hearing leaders say one thing and do another. I often want to ask them, “Do you really believe what you are saying?” Although we always hope someone is truthful, we have become skeptical listeners.

How many times have we heard politicians, sports figures, executives, and others vehemently deny something that has come out in the media, only to confess meekly that it is true some time later. Whatever happened to integrity? Whatever happened to owning up to what you did and taking your lumps? It always seemed to me that the punishment was never nearly as bad as the anticipation of it was. People are pretty forgiving, they just don’t like lying.

How many times have we heard people come right out and say the truth even if it is hard to hear? Not very often. It’s no wonder that trust is so difficult to cultivate in the workplace. Employees fear they are being lied to and wait to see if what managers say is really true. They watch not only what you say but what you do. If you want employees to engage and contribute honestly to your workplace, be honest. Be consistently truthful even when it’s hard. The result is strength, loyalty and caring–the results of integrity.

I have been reading all the stories and comments running around about the upcoming changes for The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno’s prime time cancellation. One common point brought out was that both men were put into different spots and their styles didn’t translate well enough to garner the audiences they had in their previous time slots.

I think this is often typical of personnel moves in all fields. You take an outstanding salesperson and make her a sales manager. She knows how to sell and has great people skills, but she doesn’t have leadership skills for coaching, delegating, and planning. She knows how to do, but not how to lead. The skills that made her successful in her previous slot won’t make her successful in her new slot.

Even though the new person wants the new role, there are new expectations that are not often communicated or coached, so when the failure occurs, senior management shakes its head and says, “It’s too bad. They had so much potential.”

Where is the coaching, the mentoring, and the support to make the person translate to the new role successfully? Has the new person been open to the coaching of others or has ego in their new role shut down that opportunity? I don’t know how much of this happened to Jay Leno or Conan O’Brien, but it is sad to see two successful comedians, each with a following and confidence from NBC, turn their new shows into ratings losses and hurt their reputations as well as NBC.

Since I’ve been reading Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman I have been reflecting on people I have worked with and their levels of emotional intelligence.

Goleman reports that his research shows that the more complex your job is, the more you need to have emotional intelligence competencies. He makes the point that having emotional intelligence does not just mean “being nice” to others. It is being empathic, motivated, and aware of how your behavior is affecting others. It is also being able to effectively confront others about their poor behavior when necessary without destroying their self-esteem.

I have seen very competent executives who have very little emotional intelligence and it usually comes back to bite them. Goleman says that emotional intelligence can be learned and I agree, but you have to want to learn it–just like any other competency or skill. I have worked with people who think emotional intelligence is just a bunch of mushy stuff for the weak and I have worked with people who have a healthy dose of emotional intelligence already. The big difference I see is in how the people who report to them relate to them.

The people with emotional intelligence usually earn the respect of others because they are willing to listen and learn. They are less about ego and more about serving and raising the power of others as well as themselves so the organization can succeed. They have a personal touch that encourages others to get onboard.

People without emotional intelligence find working with others more difficult. They blame others for not getting things done, but aren’t able to get people to open up and discuss the obstacles freely. Subordinates are not sure where they stand and loyalty is lacking.

I’m going to write more about this topic, but that’s enough to get started. Let me know your thoughts on emotional intelligence.