Vicki Anderson

One of my favorite quotes from a former friend was, “The grass is always greener where you water it.” When you feel sorry for your lot and think things would be better somewhere or with someone else, stop first and think about what you have done to make the best of your current situation. What have you done to water and fertilize the place you are right now? Have you invested only the best of you into the relationship or job? Or, have you laid back expecting someone else to do for you what you could do for yourself? Have you tried removing the obstacles to happiness so the good can shine through? Have you found champions to help and support you in your quest for excellence?

As we are starting into the next year of political mania, the presidential “wannabes” are trying to say that we will be better off with one of them. How do we know we will be better off? The power of the government does not rest in the hands of any one person. I am not in favor of any particular party or person at this point, but I do find it interesting to listen to all the hype about how it will be better “if only” another person were in office.

I think the “if only” that needs to be considered is how we individually become accountable and hold our elected officials accountable. What are we investing of ourselves to make sure we are good citizens of the U.S.? What are we contributing to the process so that it can be successful no matter who is in the presidential seat?

Anyone who owns a business knows that you can be the best manager or leader in the world, but with the wrong employees you will not succeed. Whatever president we have needs to know that we citizens want to work for the greater good of the U.S. We can complain about how bad things are, or we can do whatever small things we can to make our lives better. Let’s spend our energy in watering and fertilizing the grass we have. Make a difference in the world around you by being helpful, creative, and loving. Then help others around you do the same. You will gain resilience and strength, which are the basics for weathering change positively. And, you can count on change happening.

Well, here it is 2011. Another new year along with resolutions and goals to be accomplished. Yet, 30 days from now most will be abandoned. This happens not only for individuals, but also for organizations. We start out with a new strategic plan or a new set of guidelines, but as we get busy, we forget about referring to the goal and do what we’ve always done–which gets us what we’ve always gotten.

Any time you make new goals, resolutions, or practices, you have to define a way to make it consistent. Develop a way to monitor and keep you on track. It’s like starting a diet and saying, “I’ll just cut back on what I eat.” However, you don’t keep track of what you eat, so you don’t really know whether you cut back or not. Then you wonder why you didn’t lose any weight and give up.

The same is true of any goal you have in an organization. Working to change behaviors is hard work. Old habits die hard because we feel more comfortable and competent in them. We don’t like the learning curve and incompetence that comes with trying something new. If you are trying to build a stronger culture of employee involvement you have to keep reinforcing the values and behaviors that will gain you the results you seek. Watch for people doing the right things and recognize them. If people are falling back to the old ways, say something. Talk about natural consequences. What is likely to happen if you don’t change? What will happen to jobs, your customers, your business, or your employees? Be vigilant and don’t allow complacency to set in.

If you want 2011 to be any better or different than 2010, it takes work to consistently move you toward your goal. Take it a day at a time, but measure your progress. Look for small incremental movement. Doing makes it so.

We all seek leaders who are capable, knowledgeable, fearless, visionary, thoughtful, and a myriad of other qualities that are often so high minded that no one could ever live up to them. And yet, we can miss the fact that who we are looking for is someone like us, or who at least understands who we are and what we need. And, sometimes the right person to lead is actually us.

I often find that the reason people don’t step up to lead is more a matter of fear than lack of ability. They are afraid of the accountability that goes with leading. It is easier to criticize or blame someone else if things don’t turn out right. If there is less fear of reprisal or risk, people tend to get more involved.

This can happen at home, work, or school. If you seem to be holding back making decisions or if you are reluctant to volunteer your talents, ask yourself what you are afraid of. I once attended a breakfast meeting where the speaker asked the question, “If you could do anything in the world and knew you couldn’t fail, what would you be?” I was awakened to take a new direction in my career that I had been thinking about, but didn’t know how to go about it. I took the opportunity to talk to the speaker afterward and she asked me some questions to get me started in the right direction.

If you are withholding your talents from your home, work, or school, ask yourself what you are afraid of that is keeping you from being the best you can be by stepping up to take charge of your life or situation ahead.

If you are a leader and wonder why your employees don’t step up to take advantage of opportunities to get more involved, ask yourself what obstacles you can remove to help them have less fear. By listening more than trying to convince them you may find new paths to success. Your leadership may be more successful by sharing the power.

So, start with the person in the mirror. Who are you? Where do you want to go? What is stopping you? YOU are in charge.

Whenever I talk to people about leadership there always seems to be comparisons with raising children. I guess it’s because we are all still kids at heart and the behaviors we learned as a child tend to stay with us as adults.

Just as you have to be consistently firm, yet loving with your children, you need to do the same with your employees. Children need some structure and they need to know their boundaries. The same is true for adults. The better the leader has maintained an appropriate structure and given people clear expectations, the more effective they tend to be. People can be allowed to use initiative and yet know they have a support available when needed.

When children misbehave they receive consequences of some sort to correct their behavior. When adults don’t do what they are supposed to do, I continue to find it amazing how often there are no consequences. There are a lot of wringing hands and griping about how the employee isn’t performing as expected, but nothing is done or said until the pattern has gone on so long that it is an ugly interaction.

Why is it that we cannot just give people simple feedback about whether they are doing the right work or not, whether they are behaving appropriately or not, or whether they are contributing to the organization or are being a drain? Ongoing feedback is a consequence that is welcome because it lets you know where you stand. It gives you the score. Ongoing feedback addresses issues when they are small, not waiting until they escalate.

Shouldn’t we treat those we lead as well as we treat our children? Don’t they deserve to know what we expect from them? And, don’t they deserve to have reinforcing and correcting consequences in real time, not “wait until your father gets home” mentality where the consequence is stored up for later?

I have been doing a lot of work with my coaching clients lately around holding people accountable. We have been using the book Crucial Confrontations–Tools for resolving broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior. In the book they discuss how to handle the recurring issues that make it seem like the movie, Groundhog Day. You feel like you keep having the same conversations over and over.

I really like the approach the authors take, which is that once you have had the conversation a couple times and the behavior doesn’t change even though the person promised they would, it is time to have a different conversation. The real issue becomes a lack of trust. “You said you would do X and you didn’t.” As the lack of trust grows, the relationship falters and it is difficult to work or live together.

It all goes back to setting good expectations and following up. Don’t let people use “something came up” as an all purpose excuse. Make sure that they know if something looks like it will prevent them from accomplishing what they said they would do, you want to know as soon as possible. Then you can make alternate plans if necessary instead of having the “you did it again” discussion.

I think this could be one of the most valuable tools in a leader’s toolbox.