Vicki Anderson

With the reconstruction of our economy, I think an important question to ask is, “How much do we want or need?” This is in contrast to the question of “how extravagantly do we want to live?”

We have been through an era of bigger is better, but is that always the case? Some people have started small businesses after being laid off and are finding themselves happier. Many people have also downsized their homes, lifestyle, and cars in response to loss of income or retirement savings. While this has been painful, I have heard several people recently talking about making the changes permanent. Some business people have decided to keep their businesses smaller and easier to manage. Families are eating in more and finding ways to entertain at home. I heard a news story this morning about a lady who had started shopping at Walmart out of necessity, but has found that she likes shopping there because of the bargains. She said she didn’t think she would go back to the big brand stores.

It seems we might see more of a moderate approach to lifestyle yet I don’t think people are going to give up their upscale desires. I just think they will act on them less often. What are you seeing?

On recommendation from a friend, I have started to read “The Outlander” by Diana Gabaldon, which is a story about a nurse after WWII in Scotland who gets caught in a time warp and goes back in time. This is the first of a series of books about this character.

I have always found the thought of time travel very interesting. Wouldn’t it be great to have “do overs” or to really experience another time and place? I am definitely a modern woman and like this woman who finds herself in the eighteenth century suddenly, I would probably expect more equality than she is finding.

It makes me think about how far we have come in human rights and yet how far we have to go. As a baby boomer, I remember when I was in college and my chemistry lab teacher told me he didn’t know why I wasn’t getting married and having children instead of going to college. That scenario must seem far fetched to many young people today.

On the other hand, there are stories of discrimination and abuse every day in the news, so we definitely haven’t overcome these issues yet. It would be interesting to see how far in the future I would have to go to find a world of peace and harmony where people are valued individually and collectively. Maybe that is just another idealistic thought leftover from the 70′s. I hope not.

I have been doing training for the last sixteen years and I have encountered all kinds of participants. Trainers are always charged with making the training practical and helping the organization get a return on investment. However, I have seen sessions that worked for some people and didn’t work at all for others. I have seen people walk away from a session that I thought was weak, but they got a lot out of it.

I truly believe that in the business of learning, it’s what you do with it that counts. It doesn’t matter whether you have fancy handouts, multimedia slide shows, games or quizzes. What matters is whether the participants engage with the learning and decide to put it to use.

I have seen very bright people who glossed over the material and barely did any of the assignments at work. I have also seen people who seemed average at first, but really decided to put some effort into their practice and started to blossom over time.

Leadership, like any other skill can be taught and learned. Over my years of working with leaders I have seen many people grow in their leadership ability and I have seen others who think they are already there and have better things to do with their time. It’s been my experience that those who have put effort into consciously and continuously improving their leadership skills have reaped the benefits of having employees who respect them more and are eager to work for them to produce whatever it is they do.

I believe the old adage that it’s not what you’ve got that’s important, it’s what you do with it.

The first competency in Goleman’s emotional intelligence book Primal Leadership is Self-Awareness. This means you are aware of your own emotions and what causes them. It means having a realistic self-assessment of your own strengths and limitations.

This sounds easier than it often is. We almost always have a blindspot when it comes to ourselves. It is sometimes hard to be fully aware of what is really causing our anger, frustration, or loss of confidence. We kid ourselves into thinking it is someone else’s fault or someone else “made us feel…”

I have many times seen leaders who do not realize their role in how others respond to them. While blaming others they have failed to look in the mirror to ask what they could do differently to get a different response. As Dr. Phil is often quoted, “How’s that working for you?”

Since I’ve been reading Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman I have been reflecting on people I have worked with and their levels of emotional intelligence.

Goleman reports that his research shows that the more complex your job is, the more you need to have emotional intelligence competencies. He makes the point that having emotional intelligence does not just mean “being nice” to others. It is being empathic, motivated, and aware of how your behavior is affecting others. It is also being able to effectively confront others about their poor behavior when necessary without destroying their self-esteem.

I have seen very competent executives who have very little emotional intelligence and it usually comes back to bite them. Goleman says that emotional intelligence can be learned and I agree, but you have to want to learn it–just like any other competency or skill. I have worked with people who think emotional intelligence is just a bunch of mushy stuff for the weak and I have worked with people who have a healthy dose of emotional intelligence already. The big difference I see is in how the people who report to them relate to them.

The people with emotional intelligence usually earn the respect of others because they are willing to listen and learn. They are less about ego and more about serving and raising the power of others as well as themselves so the organization can succeed. They have a personal touch that encourages others to get onboard.

People without emotional intelligence find working with others more difficult. They blame others for not getting things done, but aren’t able to get people to open up and discuss the obstacles freely. Subordinates are not sure where they stand and loyalty is lacking.

I’m going to write more about this topic, but that’s enough to get started. Let me know your thoughts on emotional intelligence.