Self-awareness
The first competency in Goleman’s emotional intelligence book Primal Leadership is Self-Awareness. This means you are aware of your own emotions and what causes them. It means having a realistic self-assessment of your own strengths and limitations.
This sounds easier than it often is. We almost always have a blindspot when it comes to ourselves. It is sometimes hard to be fully aware of what is really causing our anger, frustration, or loss of confidence. We kid ourselves into thinking it is someone else’s fault or someone else “made us feel…”
I have many times seen leaders who do not realize their role in how others respond to them. While blaming others they have failed to look in the mirror to ask what they could do differently to get a different response. As Dr. Phil is often quoted, “How’s that working for you?”
