Vicki Anderson

Lately I’ve been talking with several of my clients about how to have difficult conversations with others. It seems that conflict is something we just can’t get away from. As soon as two people get together, there is the possibility of conflict. That’s not bad. What’s bad is not knowing how to discuss the difference of opinion without either person feeling defensive or hurt.

I have been using the two books, Crucial Conversations and Crucial Confrontations, both authored by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler. I have found they provide some good models for talking productively. A key ingredient that is contained in both books is creating safety first. Whenever the stakes are high in the relationship or the topic is emotional, you have to create safety so the other person doesn’t have to raise his defenses. The goal is to get into open dialog. I think the models are pretty practical and I highly recommend them if you want to improve your skills in this area.